I've been waiting for me to come along!!! / I hate myself!

http://www.seinology.com/scripts/script-134.shtml

[At Jerry's. Kramer comes in Jerry is on the couch.]

KRAMER: Hey! Did you hear the bank on the corner is offering a 100 dollars if you go in there and they don't greet you with a hello?

JERRY: Uh! Really .That's nice.

KRAMER: Now what's with you?

JERRY: I think I'm in love.

KRAMER: Oh. Come on.

JERRY: No it's true. This woman saved my life. I was crossing the street .I was almost hit by a car...and then we talked and.......the whole thing just seemed like a dream.

KRAMER: If a guy saved your life you'd be in love with him too.

JERRY: No, no this woman is different , she's incredible. she's just like me. She talks like me, she acts like me. She even ordered cereal at a restaurant. We even have the same initials. Wait a minute, I just realised what's going on.

KRAMER: What?

JERRY: Now I know what I've been looking for all these years......myself! (Kramer is speechless) I've been waiting for me to come along and now I 've swept myself off my feet.

KRAMER: You stop it man.. you're FREAKING ME OUT!!!

[........]

[Back to Jerry's, Kramer comes in..]

KRAMER: Hey!! Frank just called me. Congratulations.

JERRY: Thanks , thanks

KRAMER: Look I'm sorry about before....I mean I'm sure I'll learn to like her, Jerry

JERRY: Yeah , yeah .

KRAMER: C'mon , c'mon what's the matter?

JERRY: I think I may have made a big mistake.

KRAMER: Oh! Come on.

JERRY: All of a sudden it hit me, I realized what the problem is; I can't be with someone like me.. I hate myself!! If anything I need to get the exact opposite of me....It's too much. It's too Much I can't take it ...I can't take it!!!